Cruel Compendium #33 š
Navigating the triangle of horniness, America's drinking problem, and staying soft
IāmĀ Jillian Anthony, and this is Cruel Summer Book Club, a newsletter about change, heartbreak and healing. In the Cruel Compendium I send out links to everything Iām reading, listening to and thinking about. Last week, I wrote about the seven simple self-care steps Iām taking to feel better. Thanks for being here.
Iām reading
The triangle of horniness by Sable Yong
Be hot enough to love your own reflection. Know enough to stay out of trouble. And honor your emotions equally and without judgement.
Banish anxiety about your post-lockdown looksĀ by A.C. Shilton. I know Iām not alone in struggling with body anxiety lately. This is a reminder of how to accept your body as it is, and remember all it does for you.
Ā”Hola Papi!: I think Iām ugly by John Paul Brammer
To a certain degree, we have the power to name ourselves, to determine what we make of the hand weāve been dealt. When I feel ugly, Undercover, itās exactly that. A feeling. A story. A way of seeing myself, a method of moving clunkily through a world that doesnāt want me. Thatās real. Thatās unpleasant. Itās a place, and Iām a regular.
In life, though, we visit many places. Iāve also felt desirable. Iāve felt capable of giving and receiving pleasure, of being enchanting, of holding a secret gravity at the center of my existence, one that draws others in quite effortlessly, and why wouldnāt it? The fact that I canāt pitch my tent here, in this place where I feel good, is unfortunate. But movement is inevitable. We either learn to go, or suffer as weāre dragged.Ā
I asked my rapist for $10,000 by Alexandra Walling. This is a tough and shocking read, but Iām deeply inspired by how Walling molded an unjust world to meet her own needs.
America has a drinking problem by Kate Julian. The dark ways weāre drinking today, and how we used to drink.
Why donāt we care about misogyny? by Jill Filipovic. Why do progressives and feminists give discriminatory religions a free pass on misogyny?
Iām listening to
Unfuck Your Brain: Creativity, Positive Thinking, and Self-Love. So much wisdom I needed to hear this week about accepting the realities of our humanity.
Iām learning
Happy Pride! Hereās NPRās useful guide to gender identity terms.
I wish I could have attended the Brooklyn Liberation March again this year. (Check out photos in Vogue and The New York Times.) The march was āan emergency action in response to the more than 100 pieces of legislation that have been filed in over 34 states. There have been more anti-trans bills passed this year than in the last 10 years combined.ā Iām holding space for the 28 trans and gender non-conforming peopleānearly all Black and Latinx womenāwho were killed in 2021. You can donate to GLITSāin support of health and housing for the LGBTQIA+ communityāhere.
In April I attended a webinar through Showing Up For Racial Justice (SURJ)āa home for white people working for justiceāabout defunding the police with abolitionist Mariame Kaba. This month Iām reading Kabaās book We Do This āTil We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice. Join me?
I joined Austinās SURJ chapter, and you can learn more about SURJ and look up your local chapter here.
Questionable self-care advice
Support system
Vision board
Obsessions
ā The circle of friendship shows how we organize relationships (and how many we can keep going)
šš½āāļø Comedian Chris Duffy got a part-time job as a lifeguard at his local pool for research, and he had the time of his life. His experience is a delight to read, and a reminder for me that so much of the good stuff in life is found when we choose to do off the wall things simply for the pursuit of joy.
š« The āKeep Going Songā really had me tearing up
š¼ This rare corpse flower bloomed at an abandoned gas station
āļø Let these crocheted clouds sing to you
š What a hangover in your 30s feels like
šļø You can create a group newsletter for just your friends and family to stay in touch
An interactive, calming piece exploring the female gaze of impressionist paintings
š The literary tarot deck
š¤·āāļø What you clicked on most in the last Compendium: Nothing matters!
Speaking of straight hell: Make sure youāre in the right place spiritually to read about what happened when a woman tried to get her husband to take on the full mental load of feeding his own dog
Minerva moment
Itās Minervaās 9th birthday!!! June 15 is the made-up birthdate I gave Minerva when I adopted her as a kitten, but I celebrate faithfully every year. Adopting her remains the best decision Iāve ever made.
Anthem
āTexas Sunā by Khruangbin & Leon Bridges
Check out theĀ full CSBC playlist
Mood
Cruel compliments
Thanks to the wonderful Katie Hawkins-Gaar for the kind shoutout in her newsletter, My Sweet Dumb Brain. Katie teaches me more about how to hold on to the good in life all the time. You can read our CSBC conversation here.
Have you subscribed toĀ Jillianās newsletter yet? If you like My Sweet Dumb Brain, I bet youāll likeĀ Cruel Summer Book Club, too.
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