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Cruel Compendium #44 🐸
Short king spring, rethinking ambition, and finding hope
I last wrote about losing (and finding) my most important possession: my grandmother’s ring. Today it is back in my possession after being repaired by a jeweler, and, LOOK!
What it looked like when I found it trampled on the sidewalk:
And what it looks like now:
It will always have some kinks from its misadventures on the streets of Austin, but it still looks amazing. I’m happy to be wearing it again (in a smaller size so it can’t fly off again) and so grateful it’s back with me.
Two years ago, I was home during a shooting on my corner. The thoughts I wrote then about gun control are devastatingly timely, again. And again and again and again.
For now, I’m finding some hope in David Hogg’s hope. He survived the Parkland, Florida shooting in 2018, where 17 were murdered in a high school. He has been a fierce gun control advocate ever since.
You can find out how to get involved with March for Our Lives here; there are marches happening all over the US the next couple of weeks. Call these senators, every day, and demand gun safety legislation; here is a script you can use. Eighty-one percent of Americans agree that common-sense background check gun laws should be passed. Let’s make this time different.
How is your short king spring going? Laura Pitcher taught me so many fascinating things about height and masculinity! Like, did you know that a “man who is 5’6” needs to earn an additional $175,000 per year to be as desirable as a man who is 6’ tall”? Or that Fortune 500 CEOs are six feet tall on average (and men, obviously)?
Gender roles hurt all of us, y’all.
The Girls’ Night In newsletter on rethinking ambition. (Scroll to the fourth section.) Personally I feel like I lost my ambition for years, then got it back around the start of this new year. But still, joy and rest remain much higher priorities than work, and I’m happy to hear so many others are refocusing priorities as well.
Speaking of ambition, Hannah Orenstein tells the cut how her ambition turns off men rather than attracts them. Sigh.
“Recognizing that people’s reactions don’t belong to you is the only sane way to create. If people enjoy what you’ve created, terrific. If people ignore what you’ve created, too bad. If people misunderstand what you’ve created, don’t sweat it. And what if people absolutely hate what you’ve created? What if people attack you with savage vitriol, and insult your intelligence, and malign your motives, and drag your good name through the mud? Just smile sweetly and suggest – as politely as you possibly can – that they go make their own fucking art. Then stubbornly continue making yours.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert in Big Magic
I’m listening to
So much Tooth and Claw, which tells the story of animal attacks from a scientific perspective. I especially liked this episode about animals who helped rescue people:
Marc Maron’s interview with Robin Williams, during which he discusses suicidal thoughts. I miss Robin Williams so much.
Questionable self-care advice
🐸 Don’t forget to bring a gift to the spring king
💦 Can’t stop thinking about this bladder advice
😰 I’m five months alcohol-free and I do NOT miss hangxiety
😛 My recent smooth brain TV: Old Enough on Netflix, where Japanese toddlers run errands by themselves.
🌈 I could not find vibrant neon eyeliners anywhere, so I recently bought some from Glisten cosmetics! Excited to try these babies out.
🦪 An oyster CSA in NYC
💕 Love this thread of acts of kindness by New Yorkers
😶 People spend an average of 21.5 hours in meetings a week, 7.3 more hours per week since the pandemic began. HELL.
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You are not alone!