Cruel Compendium #59 🕯️
Slut as state of mind, the sounds of space, and marking the Fall Equinox
Last week, I wrote about my September reset. I’m giddy to report that it’s going so well. I’m sleeping like a baby, my skin is luminous, I’m stretching for 20 minutes in the morning. I honestly just feel great! And the cooler temps (the highs are in the 90s this week, lol) are definitely helping—it’s all Texans can talk about.
I’m wishing you the same sense of calm as we head into the Fall Equinox, which is officially on Saturday morning at 1:49am. I’m planning to mark the occasion in some special way, definitely with a Tarot pull and some journaling.
🕯️🕯️🕯️ Do you have a ritual to mark the changing seasons? Share in the comments! 🕯️🕯️🕯️
If you’d like some simple ritual ideas:
Here are excellent journaling prompts on gratitude, growth, and joy from Alex Elle.
You can always return to the tools I shared to set your intentions for a new year.
A friend shared these journal prompts to mark the end of summer and the beginning of fall:
PS: Have you filled out my short survey for a Cosmo story about the hyper-specific moment you knew your relationship was over? This is your last chance!
On to the links!
What I’m Reading
Listening to Taylor Swift in prison by Joe Garcia
I went down a rabbit hole of more of his writing too.
In my slut era and not having sex by Maria Yagoda
This piece deeply resonated with me. Slut is a state of mind!
“Not having sex with people who suck frees up more time for drinking seltzer, luxuriating in pajamas, and staring into the void. It doesn’t make you any less of a sluht.”
Amen.
The books I wish men read by Holly Whitaker
Whitaker has quickly become one of my favorite writers (I pay for her newsletter, Recovering.) Here is the actual list of books.
There’s a lot of conversation online this week about the many, small, quiet behaviors and touches that women experience throughout their lives that they never consented to. Whitaker explores that dialogue through some of her own experiences, and nails one of the key differences between many (cis, straight) men and women: Men don’t read books written by women. They don’t watch TV shows with women leads. They don’t grow up with women heroes. They’re not interested in learning from women and feminist thought leaders. (As Whitaker points out, many of the men you know who are self-proclaimed feminists have never read a book by a feminist philosopher.) They don’t aspire to be like women.
Meanwhile, women do all of those things with men in mind—mostly because we still have to, because men still occupy most of the prominent spaces of power, respect, and acclaim. We grow up learning the history of powerful men, reading their books, studying their worldviews. Our success in the academic world (and much of the world beyond school) depends on it. These tides are slowly changing, but this is still the reality young girls (and boys) grow up with today.
The hidden cost of free returns by David Owen
Did you know that almost nothing you return gets reshelved? Especially clothing. Learn how our rampant return culture is contributing to global waste (and climate change) issues, and why you should always try to buy the “dumbest” appliance that you can.
Grown-up theater kids run the world by Madison Malone Kircher
Hi, grown-up theater kid here. 👋🏼 I just love the audio inserts of people breaking into song.
Questionable Self-Care Advice
Exactly my mood about work-life balance TBH
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Support System
Vision Board
Obsessions
🥧 That smell of cinnamon that engulfs you when you walk into Trader Joe’s for the next six weeks
💰 A good place to start for your own post-summer financial reset
🖥️ Sign up for SURJ’s (Showing Up For Racial Justice) Abolition Action Hour on Thursday, Sept. 21 at 3pm ET. This is a great way for white people to take action on several pressing racial justice issues.
🐶 My group chat was freaking out over these custom pet paintings on jean jackets
🌌 The sounds of space. Spooky!
🥃 DryAtlas, a guide to alcohol alternatives
🤣 A “thing to say to piss off men” that’s so useful IRL. Follow Kyle Prue on TikTok to hear many, many more of these.
🌊 Protect them at all costs
😃 “The friend who hated your boyfriend when you tell them you broke up.” The amount of times I’ve watched this is sick.
🥕 A suggestion for your first easy fall soup
🧔🏻 Anne Helen Petersen’s incredible collection of “That Guy” TikToks (and here’s her great newsletter about the trend)
✨ What you clicked on most in the last Compendium: 50 of the weirdest, most wonderful corners of the Web
Minerva Moment
Mood
Welcoming fall like
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The sound of space fascinates, revealing cosmic mysteries through waves we can't hear. Explore your intellectual potential with a real IQ test online to challenge your mind. For more detail about real IQ, then visit : https://realiqtestonline.com/