Cruel Compendium #69 🍑

Nice. Plus, lots of DIVORCE content.

Feb 27, 2024

Before we begin:

✨ Last week I announced my new website and editorial services! Book me for 1-on-1 editing, career consulting, editorial consulting, and ghostwriting!

✨ My newest for Tribeza: The Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Returns to Ailey’s Home State to Celebrate the Company’s 65th Anniversary

✨ I voted early! Get all the info you need to vote at vote411.org.

Be sure to click “View entire message” at the end of this email so you can read the whole post in your browser. On to the links!

What I’m Reading

A whole lot of DIVORCE content.

Leslie Jamison on going on a book tour and ending her marriage all before her daughter was 13 months old, then dating after divorce.
lyz on what to do if you’re “divorce curious.” Also, Lenz’s book This American Ex-Wife is out now and I can’t wait to read it!
Emily Gould on ultimately deciding not to get divorced.
Finally, I read Maggie Smith’s beautiful, enraging book You Could Make This Place Beautiful.

The common, maddening thread in all of these stories? A woman who wants to do her work (writing) with the same passion and freedom as her partner, but can’t because her husband doesn’t support her and/or take on his fair share of the work at home. These familiar heterosexual dynamics (in 2024!!) have me feeling extra grateful for my independence today.

I also loved listening to Anne Helen Petersen and lyz discuss whether or not divorce is contagious. The most interesting fact I learned is that in countries where it’s easiest to get a divorce (not the U.S.), domestic violence rates go down, possibly because when women can easily walk away, the power dynamics are more equal and women feel less trapped by their circumstances.

For a palette cleanser because I DO believe in love:

100 small acts of love by Melonyce McAfee and Catherine Pearson

Introducing Cody by Cody Cook-Parrott

A beautiful meditation on changing their name and “the somatic experience of shifts in gender.”

Making choices by Nicole Zhu

On the simple choices (that feel so hard) we have to make to write.

I’m listening to:

Ezra Klein makes a case for Biden to step down so Democrats can choose a more electable candidate at the Democratic National Convention.

Nonbinary teen Nex Benedict’s death in Oklahoma is sending shockwaves through the LGBTQ+ community
Warnings of the impact of fertility treatments in Alabama rush in after frozen embryo ruling
- ‘Chief Justice Tom Parker issued a concurring opinion in which he quoted the Bible in discussing the meaning of the phrase “the sanctity of unborn life” in the Alabama Constitution. “Even before birth, all human beings bear the image of God, and their lives cannot be destroyed without effacing his glory,” Parker said.’ Terrifying.
U.S. casts lone veto against UN resolution calling for immediate cease-fire in Gaza
UN experts: Arms exports to Israel must stop immediately
More than a fifth of hostages in Gaza are dead, Israel says
NRA and ex-CEO Wayne LaPierre found liable for misspending millions on lavish perks

Actions for Palestine

Five of my dear friends are running the Gaza 5K in Brooklyn on March 2. They are raising money for the UNRWA, which funds mental health services for refugees. Support their team!
Purchase eSims so Palestinians can communicate with each other and the outside world. This is a way to directly benefit people in Gaza.
Use ceasefire-now.com as an easy tool to email your Congressional reps.
Download the 5 Calls app to easily dial your representatives and demand a permanent ceasefire in Gaza. Sixty-nine members of Congress have now called for a ceasefire.
Join JVP’s daily Power Half-Hour for Gaza (2pm CT Mon-Fri) to hear updates on the movement and take action.