Cruel Compendium #76 🥑
The messy middle, the worst dads in history, and leaving dating apps behind
Before we begin: It’s officially summer, and I’m officially open to new part-time and contract work!
Check out my LinkedIn post for all the details, and I’d appreciate it if you’d share this with your network (and your company’s hiring manager). You can also reply directly to this email to get in touch.
Hire me if you're looking for quality, consistent, and standout content from an experienced, results-oriented writer and editor. I really can do it all, and I'm ready to jump in!
ICYMI, last week I shared my NO BUMMER SUMMER bucket list. I ticked a couple more off this weekend when I visited Nashville with my college besties (who I wrote about for Business Insider).
The Cruel Summer Book Club podcast relaunches on THURSDAY! I’ll share the first episode with you here next week, but go ahead and subscribe/follow on your fave podcast platform if you want to listen right away!
Be sure to click “View entire message” at the end of this email so you can read the whole post in your browser. On to the links!
Speed dating is making a comeback by Carly Mallenbaum
It’s not just me who tried speed dating for the first time this year — attendance at Eventbrite events that mentioned "dating" or "singles" rose 62% in the early months of this year, and Gen Z is leaving dating apps behind so dating apps are in their flop era. (Here’s a TikTok I came across with IRL dating advice from a man, FYI.) See also: the human cost of an Apple update.
A look inside New York’s historic artist lofts, the last of their kind. Photographs by Joshua Charow, story by Kyle Almond
These stunning photos are on view at Westwood Gallery NYC through July 13 — I wish I could see them in person.
At 17, she fell in love with a 47-year-old. Now she questions the story. By Alexandra Alter
A fascinating look at Jill Ciment’s rewriting of her own memoir after #MeToo the death of her longtime husband, who she met when she was his art student as a teen.
Learning to love my father as his mind unraveled by Cornelia Channing
A daughter’s experience with her father’s dementia, remembered from ages 10 to 18.
On Tarot and writing by
Writing prompts for creativity, whether you practice Tarot or not.
Books lately
Book 18
My Brilliant Friend: The Graphic Novel based on the novel by Elena Ferrante
This was a cool new way to revisit the first of her Neapolitan novels. Now I’m toying with rereading them all this summer.
Book 19
Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros
Game of Thrones meets Hunger Games. (The summer smut crossed off my summer bucket list.) A close friend said I had to read this slutty fantasy novel that’s absolutely everywhere right now. I don’t often read fantasy, but I did enjoy when the dragons came into the picture, and now I’m wondering if I should go for book two. I did really enjoy how the author includes consent, birth control (for men and women), nonbinary people, fluid sexuality, and sexual freedom in such effortless ways. It’s a fantasy book for 2024.
Book 20
The Vacationers by Emma Straub
A quintessential summer read about a family vacation to Mallorca and the cheating, drama, sex, breakups, and breakthroughs that happen along the way. I could have skipped it!
Bits and bobs about freelance writing.
“The only thing a first draft must do is exist.” —Jane Smiley h/t Ann Friedman’s newsletter.
Excellent research resources from Marijana Kay. Her newsletter for freelancers is one of my faves.
Newsletter suggestions from Kaitlyn Arford on building your own successful newsletter.
Digital Women Leaders offers 1-on-1 coaching for women in journalism.
Apple’s iOS update will let us record phones calls and transcribe them. 🙌🏼
Loved this on writing and enjoying the messy middle from Rachel Khong in
during #1000WordsofSummer:What is the process? For me, it’s those hours and years; it’s filling notebooks, it’s daydreaming on long walks. It’s wearing holes into my sweatpants. It’s setting my timer. It’s cutting my fingernails. It’s the pendulum of feeling frustrated and feeling ecstatic. It’s all the just-okay days in between. Writing can be messy; writing can be uncomfortable. As a society, we prefer tidy narratives of success to the muck in the middle.
But here’s a secret that writers get to be in on: The messy middle is a fascinating place to be. It’s where we get to be in dialogue with ourselves. It’s where we get to learn what obsesses us and what moves us. It’s where we get to push up against our limits, and attempt to reach beyond them. It’s where we get to experiment, in privacy. At times, that messiness can feel unpleasant, but I promise it isn’t permanent. All you have to do is keep working, keep being curious. There’s a distinct satisfaction that comes with doing something difficult—reaching for an insight, or turn of phrase, or plot point that’s just out of reach, and eventually reaching it. Nothing compares. What an incredible privilege writing is: that we get to explore what interests and enthralls us, and try to do it a little bit better every day.
Causes I care about and actions for change.
Explore how many people are getting abortions and where in the US with data from a new study by The Guttmacher Institute. 35,000 Texans and more than 171,300 patients nationally traveled out of state to obtain an abortion last year.
Every episode of The Blindboy Podcast is different, but you can guarantee a soothing deep dive into a topic by Irish writer David Chambers, the smooth-voiced narrator. This one explores his views on Palestine and the connective fabrics and sinister goals of global power.
Use Operation Olive Branch’s spreadsheet or the Gaza Family Funds directory to donate to help evacuate a Palestinian family to safety. Over 800 families are desperate for help.
Looking for one family to directly donate to? Six-year-old Rita’s family is still trying to meet their fundraising goal. Or donate to the efforts to build sustainable tents, charging stations, ovens, etc. for displaced families.
Visit ceasefiretoday.com for helpful links to email/call your Congress members, sign petitions, find a protest near you, and more.
My own nails made the Vision Board cut today. 🤠
🏝️ Love Island. I watched my first-ever US and UK eps this weekend and honey…I’m hooked!
🥑 We’re almost halfway through 2024 (!), which means it could be a great time to check in on our goals and intentions for the year.
has a mid-year check-in workbook to help guide you.✌🏼 An excellent list of good sign-offs. I like “planting seeds” and “to your success.”
✅ How to add a legacy contact for your Apple ID — aka give someone access to your data in the case of your death.
🗽 An excellent, borough-specific spreadsheet of free things to do in NYC this summer by @gldivittorio
👍🏼 Useful ChatGPT apps from
🙅♂️ The worst dads in all of history by Garth Risk Hallberg
🎨 A delightful thread of people matching artworks by Stefan Draschan
🐔 If you want an idea of what my humor is like, this made me laugh till I cried.
🤠 I just want to go queer line dancing.
💟 Remember: Things fall into place.
🐈 I’ve been using Trusted Housesitters as a reliable service to make sure my pets, plants, and house chores are taken care of while I’m away. I’ve had three sitters so far and they’ve all been great experiences. The best part is that an annual membership is only $199 per year — that’s it. You don’t pay your sitters any extra costs, and they get the benefit of having a free place to stay. Get 25% off with my referral link.
🤳 What you clicked on most in the last Compendium: Just two friends who realize they both dislike the same person
Support for the week ahead from your higher self.
How can I be much kinder to myself this week?
Four of Wands
Home, backbone, foundation
Nine of Cups
Wish come true, fulfillment, pleasures
This week, get back to basics. You have everything you need, both within and without. Zoom in on what’s in your field of vision, and leave the what-ifs behind. You are home. You are safe. Take comfort in the abundance all around you. Build your own pillow fort and curl up in it for a while.
This is not a time to be harsh, or restrict, or to give in to your inner saboteur’s desperate attempt to make you feel less than. You need gentleness — gift yourself softness without conditions. You crave kindness — lavish it upon yourself.
Minerva turned 13 on Sunday! 🥳
LOVE Blindboy (and his beautiful voice)!!