Cruel Compendium #79 🥇
Gamifying rejection, Olympics overload, and death by selfie
🎧 New episode alert! 🎧
Listen now to Gamifying Rejection with Zach Zimmerman on the Cruel Summer Book Club podcast.
Comedian Zach Zimmerman went from performing comedy on cruise ships to cold-pitching the New Yorker to being a published author — and experienced plenty of rejection along the way. The author of the humor essay collection Is It Hot in Here (or Am I Suffering for All Eternity for the Sins I Committed on Earth)? talked with me about recognizing rejection as part of the creative game, handling unruly audience members as a standup comedian, and just sending the damn pitch. Plus, we touch on dealing with difficulty family members, strengthening friendships after the pandemic, and how we both got broken up with on flights back from Europe.
Zach is a longtime friend of mine and I’ve admired his work ethic and ability to take rejection in stride (and celebrate his successes!) for years. I love Zach’s simple pep talk for creatives: Nowhere is it written that you can't do it.
Zach is taping a special on October 8 in Brooklyn! Be there or see one of his upcoming shows!
Be sure to click “View entire message” at the end of this email so you can read the whole post in your browser. On to the links!
Are you more curious than afraid? By
What not to say to women who are childfree by choice by
The modern rise of death by selfie by Anna Gibbs
Young women are the most progressive group in American history. Young men are checked out. By Carter Sherman
This really depressed me.
Polls indicate that young men’s views on gender, femininity and masculinity are rapidly shifting. In 2022, 49% of gen Z men said that the United States had become “too soft and feminine”, Deckman found. Just a year later, 60% of gen Z men said the same. Deckman found that those who agreed with the statement were far more likely to have voted for Trump in 2016 – even after controlling for political party.
The Olympics have generally been a bright spot in my year, but rampant transphobia dimmed the shine. Here are a few pieces I’ve been reading on how transphobia is integrally connected to racism and sexism — and continues to harm us all.
Imane Khelif Isn't Trans—But So What If She Was? by
These people do not care about preserving the “dignity” of women’s sports, let alone about protecting women. In latching onto women who are at the top of their athletic performances, decrying their strength and appearances as inherently masculine (particularly toxic when you add in the racialized dynamic between Carini and Khelif), they have exposed the ethos of their obsession: a starkly narrow definition of womanhood in which women cannot be big, or strong, or competitive, that is rooted in white supremacy and praises hyperfemininity, and makes a target of anyone who exists outside of these parameters.
Furthermore, their fascination over a cis woman’s gender identity admits that this anti-trans panic that regularly kills trans children and murders trans adults is all in the name of preserving a rigid, conservative image of femininity, molded by white patriarchy and preserved by women like Rowling who think they’ll save themselves by aligning with its power. And of course, this is something that trans activists and trans journalists have long sounded the alarm on.
Why the Olympics really confused some people from
It doesn’t matter to the tech billionaires or the Gazprom-funded boxing commissioner or the writer occasionally known as Robert Galbraith and their extremely online fans that Khelif and Lin are women. If anything, it furthers their cause. Why wait for a trans woman to excel at anything in order to destroy them, when cis women who step out of line will do just as well?
Bully enough women who don’t look feminine enough, or who excel at things that are even faintly masculine-coded by virtue of their genetics (and what is the Olympics on one level if not a celebration of the physically freakishly-gifted), and they might go away and leave the prizes to those deemed “acceptable”.
Imane Khelif and Western delusions of white innocence by Ruby Hamad
This is Orientalism writ large, recalling centuries of representations of the “East”, in which non-white women have been variously depicted as either wretched, submissive victims desperately in need of saving by white men, or as masculine, animalistic creatures unworthy of protection, to contrast with the superior European women.
These representations personify how the West sees itself. Women’s bodies are the terrain on which the West wages its ideological battles. White women are represented as pure, innocent, and as needing to be defended at all costs because they symbolise Western civilisation itself. Black and brown women, on the other hand, have long been depicted as devoid of innocence and unworthy of protection because they too are avatars for their own “inferior” cultures.
Bits and bobs about freelance writing.
My recent clips for CultureMap Austin:
The most recent CSBC podcast episode (and last week’s newsletter) explores how I've intentionally made August a time to focus on travel, rest, nature, and connection, year after year. As a freelance writer, I've been able to reclaim my summers and prioritize life over work during this fleeting time of year. This is my time to simply "be" without the pressure of deadlines and self-improvement. I AM HAVING A SUMMER and I’m grateful for it.
What should I do next with my newsletter? A transparent conversation between newsletter guru Dan Oshinsky and the great
.Kaitlyn Arford’s excellent list of resources for building a business with purpose. Her freelance opportunities newsletter is one of my faves.
The $200K/year freelancer checklist. One can dream — and make a business plan!
Have you downloaded my FREE list of 101 tools and resources for freelancers?
Causes I care about and actions for change.
CDC tells health officials to better manage IUD insertion pain. FINALLY!
A no bullshit guide to Project 2025 by
UN experts decry “scholasticide” of Palestinian schools. Over 90% of schools in Gaza have been damaged or destroyed. All 12 universities have been destroyed. No students have attended school since November.
Related: Kamala Harris will shift on Gaza only if we make her.
Visit ceasefiretoday.com for helpful links to email/call your Congress members, sign petitions, find a protest near you, and more.
10 ways we find hope by Ann Friedman
🥇 A visualization of which countries won which medals and more from my favorite data viz designer (and former roommate) Danielle Carrick
👎🏼 We’re #1? American athletes take advantage of free healthcare in the Olympic Village and had to crowdfund their Olympic dreams.
🌍 The official Olympics 2024 poster in the Medalist’s Box
✈️ A Helpful Guide To Solo Travel For Female/LGBTQ+ Travelers
🍴 50 go-to dinner recipes from Ann Friedman
🚫 How to disable X from using your data to train its Grok AI
🌈 Dusen Dusen duvets are totally FUN (scroll to bedroom). I especially like this one that makes your bed a pool reflection.
🖍️
’ collection of doodles by famous folks like Barack Obama🥨 There are snacks only women can see at Trader Joe’s
🥪 How long do you last before you eat your sandwich at the beach?
🤳 What you clicked on most in the last Compendium: 30 hobbies to explore for girls learning to be alone
Support for the week ahead from your higher self.
How can I be present to enjoy the rest of the waning summer season?
Queen of Swords
Independent, boundaries, direct communication
Two weeks ago, my cat Dusty went missing for 48 hours. I wasn’t home to help search for her. I cried my eyes out. But friends and neighbors who had never even met me came out of the woodwork to express their care and help find her. She was found hiding in a bush near my home. She’s home, safe and healthy. Give your pet a big hug for me today.
I'm so happy both that Dusty was found and is now back home. :).