Cruel Compendium #89 🌻

Making choices by aliveness, couples therapy, and being annoying

Hi everyone! Before we begin:

Last week, I launched two new 1-on-1 coaching offerings:

1. Write Your Pitch in One Hour

I’ll help you write and edit your pitch, find the right publication fit, and get it ready to send — all in 60 minutes. I’ll even help you find the right editor and their email address, so you can send your pitch off right away!

2. 1 Month of 1-on-1 Pitch Perfect Coaching

After one month of private coaching, you’ll have three pitches ready to send, all your writing questions answered, and the confidence to write and sell more pitches that work.

Have questions about how you could work with me? Book a free 15-minute discovery call!

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On to the links!

Navigating by aliveness by Oliver Burkeman

It’s on my summer to-do list to re-read Four Thousand Weeks and get clear on my aliveness for the rest of this year.

The surprising ways that siblings shape our lives by Susan Dominus

I can’t really relate to much in this story, but it’s still fascinating to consider siblings’ impact versus parents’.

Sufjan Stevens is doing okay by Craig Jenkins

“To live is to be preoccupied with death.” Anyone else been listening to “Fourth of July” on repeat lately?

In what specific way are you annoying? by

Haley Nahman

I’ve thought about this essay a lot since I read it — about the specific things that annoy me about others, and myself. Nahman posits that our most annoying traits and habits come directly from what we’re most insecure about, and that makes so much sense to me. We work extra hard to hide these imperfections from others, which makes them all the more obvious.

The real dangers women face by

Aubrey Hirsch

Bits and bobs about freelance writing

• My first piece for Austin Home is a gorgeous 8-page spread for the summer issue! Read it in print and online.

jillathrilla

A post shared by @jillathrilla

• How’s your #1000WordsofSummer going? I’m using this time to supercharge a bunch of creative tasks I want to get done this summer.

• The benefits of taking a writing break by

  René Ostberg

• Safeguard your creativity by Nicole Zhu

• What if I have to go back to a 9 to 5? by

  Sarah Jutras
  , who asks what true security looks like. See also one of my all-time favorite CSBC posts: The illusion of job security.

The illusion of job security

• How much are we paying for newsletters? Do you know? I pay for 8-10 newsletters at about $400/year.

• I loved Amie McNee’s honest post about selling exactly zero paintings during a nine-day art fair — and why the experience was worthwhile anyways.

inspiredtowrite

A post shared by @inspiredtowrite

• Upcoming creative events and classes:

  • Take a Craft Seminar class on writing an essay collection with Alexander Chee on July 13 and 27.

  • I told y’all how much I loved

    Cecily Sailer
    ’s Tarot-led creative retreat during my big fat input week. She’s hosting two online events soon: a Creative Wellness workshop on June 12 (pay what you can) and the Creative Coven for Summer Solstice on June 19 (free).

  • Giselle Buchanan’s Written into Being 4-week writing cohort kicks off again July 6. I loved my experience and trying my hand at poetry!

Causes I care about and actions for change

I donate 5% of my gross income to a cause of my choice every month. This month, I donated $252 to my friend and former coworker Rheanna Bellomo, who is, thankfully, in remission from blood cancer, but struggling to get back on her feet.

In her own words:

Remission is a blessing, but returning to “real life” is hell. Despite every effort, I'm struggling. Financial toxicity of cancer plus prolonged recovery have put me in a hole. And sadly, support disappears once active treatment ends.

To help support Rheanna:

• Donate directly to her Venmo, Paypal, or GoFundMe

• Hire her for all your freelance content needs! She’s the former bar critic at Time Out and editor of Delish.

• Shop her Depop or Poshmark

• Commission her for photography or artwork!

More links:

• ICE efforts in DC thwarted by solidarity. Solidarity works.

• What if this was your daughter? by

  Emily Amick
  . Thinking of the current unthinkable cruelty the state is forcing upon Adriana Smith and her family. Donate to her family’s GoFundMe.

• Free Palestine. The systemic starvation, displacement, and rampant murder of the Palestinian people, fully backed by my own country, continues to sicken me every day. Donate to Gaza Soup Kitchen to help them survive another day.

A hopeful balcony I walk by most days.

briannapastor

A post shared by @briannapastor

pikidesigns_

A post shared by @pikidesigns_

• I blew through the newest season of Couples Therapy, one of my favorite TV shows of all time. I get the Showtime 7-day trial just for this. Worth it!!

• 💗 I enjoyed my former creative coach Catherine LaSota’s short podcast on treating your relationship with creativity like you would any other long-term relationship.

• 🏠 Photographs of famous New Yorkers’ living rooms in the New Yorker

• 💍 My sister got married and these sneak peek photos are everything!!!

• 🚼 Hire my friend Breesa Culver to name your baby.

• 📚 Excellent list of May reads from

  Nora McInerny

• 🚂 All aboard the library book train

• 🏙️ The problem with my city is that it’s a city

• 🫜 Good enough gardening: a how-to for busy folks by

  Amy Bauer

• 🌻 Speaking of plants, book a Summer Solstice Session with Sister Spinster so you can set a summer intention spell and receive a custom-crafted flower essence formula. (Click “more” on the offering for more details.)

• ⌛ Good things take time

• 🪗 FreeYourMusic lets you easily transfer playlists between platforms

• 🌌 The magical realism of Hey Arnold

• 🎭 Getting mugged when you’re a showtunes gal

• 🤠 Obsessed with these dancing cowgirls

• 🤩 Oh, to be ogled by an Eider duck

• ⚰️ What other people hear when you play your emo music

• 📖 I loved James by Percival Everett, the winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, and loved hearing the author talk about the novel and Twain’s Huckleberry Finn.

• 🏳️‍🌈 Happy PRIDE!

@citizenreidseen at the demo in london today #transrights #transpride #ally #london

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• 🏠 What you clicked on most in the last Compendium: Map your month from

  Liz Tran

edithzimmermans

A post shared by @edithzimmermans

Support for the week ahead from your higher self.

How can I work with summer’s energy?
Six of Swords — Transition, change, releasing baggage

What is creatively dawning for me?
Five of Swords — conflict, competition, frustration

What can I lay to rest?
Lovers reversed — Disharmony, imbalance, self-love

Summer’s dawn brings a fresh chance for you to leave behind the habits and beliefs that aren’t serving you or your creative practice. Things are changing, and it feels big and scary. Even when change is right, it can be difficult to wade through. You may go through the cycles of grief, and wonder again and again whether you made the right choice. But you already know that you did — so trust the path that you are on now, even if it gets thorny. Which of your swords can you put down along the way to lighten your load?