This is an emergency edition of the newsletter: Cruel Holiday Book Club.
I know how hard the holidays can be, for all sorts of reasons. Maybe you’re mourning someone, or a life you once lived, or a life you hoped for that will never be. You’re not alone. Give yourself what you need this week—and through January 1st, when everyone will move on from twinkling lights to twinkling resolutions—whether that’s quiet time, or a raucous gathering, or seeing family, or seeing chosen family, or eating your body weight in stuffing, or eating mostly Lucky Charms for four days (a favorite tradition of mine). If you can, give yourself true rest and time off. Find joy where you can and hold on tight. Give thanks.
Let’s try not to lose it links
I’m listening to:
Catherine Andrews’ podcast The Sunday Soother, on which I was a guest this week. We talked about Cruel Summer Book Club, and grief, shame, self-care and self-compassion, and tools to help us heal and better know ourselves. Give it a listen—I hope it's helpful. And also subscribe to Catherine’s wonderful newsletter of the same name, packed with useful advice and links for living a more meaningful life.
I’m reading:
Yes, it’s okay to be sad during the holidays by Marissa Miller in the New York Times
The best things to do with your mom (or anyone!) when she visits NYC by Rachel Miller
Ten years by Helena Fitzgerald in her newsletter, Griefbacon
New York City’s best places to cry in public, mapped by Ameena Walker and Amy Plitt in Curbed
Adventures in depression by Allie Brosh
I’m gifting:
A gift for a rough holiday season: The Hapless Holiday Box
Support I got that you might need to hear
From Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed:
It’s hard. I know. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. And you’re going to bawl your head off doing it. But I promise you it will be okay. Your tears will be born of grief, but also of relief. You will be better for them. They will make you harder, softer, cleaner, dirtier. Free.
A glorious something else awaits.
Questionable self-care advice
Minerva moment
This cheered me up
Anthem of the week
Mood
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You are not alone!