Discover more from Cruel Summer Book Club
Cruel compendium #1
Everything I'm reading, listening to and thinking about this week
ICYMI: In Tuesday’s newsletter I announced that Cruel Summer Book Club will now come to your inbox twice a week. On Tuesdays I’ll share an essay or conversation, and on Fridays you’ll receive the Cruel compendium: links of things I’m reading, listening to, and thinking about. I’m excited to connect with all of you more often.
After four years of silence, a call to mom on Mother’s Day by Sopan Deb in The New York Times
31 things Madeline Dore has learned in 31 years. Some I specifically identify with: Don’t believe in the parameters people make for you (or even the ones you make for yourself). Nobody knows what they’re doing. Your weakness is your strength.
Katie Hawkins-Gaar writes about The Ring Theory at her newsletter, My Sweet Dumb Brain. Everyone should read this!!! I will use the ring theory as a guide to respecting those who are grieving for the rest of my life.
The idea is that, when someone is going through an especially difficult time, they can vent to or lean on anyone else who is less affected in that moment. The less affected people should avoid venting to or leaning on the more affected people; instead, they should seek out someone even less affected than them.
Courtney Martin on the tiny yellow book full of Pema Chödrön’s teachings that she leaned on, then gave away to a friend in need, in her newsletter, The Examined Family. Every day, I remember that things will always come together, then fall apart. I hope the coming together part will be comin’ round the bend again sometime soon!
It’s all right to cry from the Two Bossy Dames newsletter. An honest conversation about crying, specifically women crying and how others react to our tears.
What if you just trusted yourself? by Haley Nahman in her newsletter, Maybe Baby. On the power of listening to your intuition, and not intellectualizing your feelings.
Lifting weights helps ease anxiety and depression by Brad Stulberg in Outside. I’ve weightlifted regularly for the past four years or so, but I didn’t do much exercise besides running and walking for the second half of 2019. In January when I started Whole30 and got back into the gym, it took all of 72 HOURS for my mood to take a complete 180. If you’re having a hard time, do not underestimate how much clean eating and working out will benefit you.
Questionable self-care advice
Support I got that you might need to hear
I enthusiastically endorse
This list of Covid-19 resources for freelancers and media people from Susan Shain’s Where to Pitch newsletter
This worksheet to help you cultivate self-compassion
This Instagram account of a baby and two cats, which I am addicted to:
This Twitter thread on great advice from therapists:
This Twitter thread about a little girl who loves USPS. Magic exists!
My sister caught this special moment on camera!!!
Anthem of the week
“Malibu” by Kim Petras. I’ve been listening to this song ONLY since it came out, and this video truly brought a smile to my face.
This cheered me up
Binge-watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Nothing has been more fun over the last couple of months than watching this show with my mom, often with drinks in hand, following these women’s petty dramas, drawing out the same low-stakes conversation over multiple seasons, mom and I gasping at each other during dramatic moments and laughing our asses off. I’m still on season nine and I can’t wait to get to the craziness I know is going on in season 10.
Since my life as I know it has ended, I have decided to be Erika Jayne.
This Tik Tok
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Thanks for linking to CSBC as one of three things you’re into in your newsletter The Tiff Weekly, Tiffany Philippou!
Ethan Wall sold everything he owned to travel—then coronavirus hit: My belief that men are victims of the patriarchy too is a thought piece for another day. But, what I loved about this interview from one of my favourite newsletters, is you get to hear from a man about the struggles he has communicating his feelings and how Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability set him free (as she has done for me.)