Cruel compendium #1

Everything I'm reading, listening to and thinking about this week

May 15, 2020

ICYMI: In Tuesday’s newsletter I announced that Cruel Summer Book Club will now come to your inbox twice a week. On Tuesdays I’ll share an essay or conversation, and on Fridays you’ll receive the Cruel compendium: links of things I’m reading, listening to, and thinking about. I’m excited to connect with all of you more often.

I’m reading

After four years of silence, a call to mom on Mother’s Day by Sopan Deb in The New York Times

31 things Madeline Dore has learned in 31 years. Some I specifically identify with: Don’t believe in the parameters people make for you (or even the ones you make for yourself). Nobody knows what they’re doing. Your weakness is your strength.

Katie Hawkins-Gaar writes about The Ring Theory at her newsletter, My Sweet Dumb Brain. Everyone should read this!!! I will use the ring theory as a guide to respecting those who are grieving for the rest of my life.

The idea is that, when someone is going through an especially difficult time, they can vent to or lean on anyone else who is less affected in that moment. The less affected people should avoid venting to or leaning on the more affected people; instead, they should seek out someone even less affected than them.

Courtney Martin on the tiny yellow book full of Pema Chödrön’s teachings that she leaned on, then gave away to a friend in need, in her newsletter, The Examined Family. Every day, I remember that things will always come together, then fall apart. I hope the coming together part will be comin’ round the bend again sometime soon!

It’s all right to cry from the Two Bossy Dames newsletter. An honest conversation about crying, specifically women crying and how others react to our tears.

What if you just trusted yourself? by Haley Nahman in her newsletter, Maybe Baby. On the power of listening to your intuition, and not intellectualizing your feelings.

Lifting weights helps ease anxiety and depression by Brad Stulberg in Outside. I’ve weightlifted regularly for the past four years or so, but I didn’t do much exercise besides running and walking for the second half of 2019. In January when I started Whole30 and got back into the gym, it took all of 72 HOURS for my mood to take a complete 180. If you’re having a hard time, do not underestimate how much clean eating and working out will benefit you.

Questionable self-care advice

davidshrigley

May 12, 2020

Support I got that you might need to hear

girlboss

In a world full of imitators, strive to be the truest version of yourself.

April 13, 2020

extraordinary_routines

Each line of this poem is borrowed from someone who shared the advice they are trying to remind themselves of during this time for the latest episode of Routines & Ruts podcast.

Listen to 60+ reflections, insights and advice wherever you tune in 🎧

May 12, 2020

I enthusiastically endorse

This list of Covid-19 resources for freelancers and media people from Susan Shain’s Where to Pitch newsletter

This worksheet to help you cultivate self-compassion

This Instagram account of a baby and two cats, which I am addicted to:

rina_takei

27/04/2020 Happy Monday!
・
Guinness and Nagi.
Have a good week everyone!
#stayhome
・
・
ギネス王子とオーバーオール凪ねこ。
車と電車と猫の他に
最近おままごとにもハマり、
おもちゃの野菜やらおかずたちは
必ずカットした後、
本当にもぐもぐしている😂
そして、ティーカップ常に持参。笑
ピム丸バージョンもあるので、
また今度postします👦🏻
それでは
今週もよろしくお願いします♬
・
・
#おうち時間
#ギネスくん　
#ギネピムと凪くん
#1yearold #1歳 #1歳4ヶ月 #16monthsold
#babyboy #男の子ベビー #赤ちゃんのいる生活 #赤ちゃんのいる暮らし #赤ちゃんと猫 #猫と赤ちゃん

April 27, 2020

This Twitter thread on great advice from therapists:

tracy jumps to put jeans on so she feels ur pain @brokeymcpoverty

people with therapists during this time: whats the most helpful thing your therapist told or taught you that has made things a little easier? i hate that therapy is a luxury, let spread the wealth!

This Twitter thread about a little girl who loves USPS. Magic exists!

Hugh Weber @hughweber

Emerson, my 11 year old, is on a bit of a wild ride with the @USPS and our local mail carrier, Doug. And, I think there’s a deeper message to it all. First, the backstory...

Minerva moment

My sister caught this special moment on camera!!!

jillathrilla @jillathrilla

My daughter Minerva is now LICKING her brother Kiki after weeks of hissing battles 😭😭😭

Anthem of the week

“Malibu” by Kim Petras. I’ve been listening to this song ONLY since it came out, and this video truly brought a smile to my face.

This cheered me up

Binge-watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Nothing has been more fun over the last couple of months than watching this show with my mom, often with drinks in hand, following these women’s petty dramas, drawing out the same low-stakes conversation over multiple seasons, mom and I gasping at each other during dramatic moments and laughing our asses off. I’m still on season nine and I can’t wait to get to the craziness I know is going on in season 10.

Since my life as I know it has ended, I have decided to be Erika Jayne.

Mood

This Tik Tok

And:

caitie delaney @caitiedelaney

Quick update about me

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Cruel compliments

Thanks for linking to CSBC as one of three things you’re into in your newsletter The Tiff Weekly, Tiffany Philippou!

Ethan Wall sold everything he owned to travel—then coronavirus hit: My belief that men are victims of the patriarchy too is a thought piece for another day. But, what I loved about this interview from one of my favourite newsletters, is you get to hear from a man about the struggles he has communicating his feelings and how Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability set him free (as she has done for me.)