Cruel Compendium #60 🍁
Yearnposting, jazz turkeys, and going super-woo
ICYMI: Last week, I wrote about the illusion of job security. I’m glad it seemed to resonate with many of you. This is your reminder to deprioritize work, and always bet on you.
Also, add me on Bluesky! And reply to this email if you need an invite.
On to the links!
What I’m Reading
Why “girls” rule the internet by Marie Solis
A smart exploration of why everyone wants to be a girlie online.
The truth about the “marriageability gap” by Lyz Lenz
Here’s a taste of what we’ll uncover in Lenz’s upcoming book, This American Ex-Wife. The stats Lenz shares in this piece are tough to swallow; here’s just a few of them:
…a study that found that women who out-earned their male partners were 35 percent more likely to be victims of domestic violence.
A study by Pew Research found that in hetero couples where women out-earned their male partners, men had more leisure time and still did less housework.
Men who are in hetero partnerships where they earn less than their wives are more likely to cheat.
Yearnposting is just another symptom of our collective malaise by Roisin Lanigan
Languishing’s next evolution.
Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back (inexplicably now in cold foam format), and you have the sudden urge to rewatch Gilmore Girls. It’s still too hot to declare that it’s properly autumn, but look, it’s properly autumn. If you can’t tell from the weather and the fashion and the beverages and the TV shows, you can tell by the ennui seeping across the internet: it’s fall, and now we yearn.
Three super-woo ways to protect your energy by Melissa Urban
Going to start carrying around a grounding stone in my pocket stat.
They loved everything about New York, and each other by Valeriya Safronova
It’s not every day your friend makes the Vows column! My former coworker Will got married at an adult summer camp! “Guests had access to zip-lines, a ropes course, water skis and more.” SO FUN. I’m sad I couldn’t make the big day but overjoyed that one of the most delightful people I know is so happy—I had to share that warmth with all of you. Love is real!
I’m listening to:
Anti-Racism Daily is now a daily podcast! I’m excited to keep learning with ARD in a medium that’s easy for me to keep up with. Shoutout to CSBC podcast guest Nicole Cardoza, creator of ARD (as well as a magician, philanthropist, and author).
Boundaries, Burnout, and the ‘Goopification’ of Self-Care. This conversation between Tressie McMillan Cottom and Dr. Pooja Lakshmin is such an impactful listen on the realities of being a woman, the consequences of saying “no,” and what true self-care would look like (spoiler alert: it’s equity).
Questionable Self-Care Advice
Support System
Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.
— From the poem “Sometimes” by Mary Oliver, h/t Madeleine Dore
Vision Board
Just call me jazz turkey.
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Obsessions
🧀 Okay, we read a LOT of the “Can mothers and childfree women be friends?” discourse over the last couple of weeks, but my fave detail out of this story was the idea of the “cheese-and-comps crew,” a monthly ritual of getting together for wine and cheese and giving one another compliments. I’m absolutely in, and I’ll wear a great outfit.
🍁 Fall foliage prediction map. Get after it!! (I’ve got to wait another month.)
💌 A Redditor’s love letter to Austin that really spoke to me.
🎨 I’m loving Collé, a gorgeous collage newsletter.
🧪 Get four more free Covid tests on the government’s dime.
🌌 Astronomy Photographer of the Year winners. Oooooh ahhhhh. h/t Kottke
💰 The average salary by state in 2023. The annual salary nationwide is $59,428.
📱 A genius adhesive phone case, perfect for content creators or frequent FaceTimers. h/t Hitha Palepu, one of my fave newsletters
✅ Aesthetically pleasing desktop to-do lists, also h/t Hitha
👷🏽 Oh shit, new Consumer Product Safety Commission album just dropped. h/t Today in Tabs—I’m a paid subscriber!
📈 Stove Top Goal Setting. I like it! It reminds me of the Four-square Model. It makes so much sense to realign your priorities at least once a quarter and intentionally heat up and cool down your energy.
💓 Speaking of energy, why don’t you whip up a dopamine menu for next weekend?
✨ What you clicked on most in the last Compendium: “The friend who hated your boyfriend when you tell them the breakup news”
Dusty moment
Anthem
“this is what autumn feels like” by JVKE. I really think JVKE is going to make piano pop cool again.
Mood
Do you still have an extra Bluesky invite?