Cruel Compendium #66 🪜
More/less, part/whole, dumbest/best — you've got it all, baby.
Before we begin: In my newest story for Tribeza about TINA: The Tina Turner Musical, I interviewed actress Roz White who plays Tina’s mother, Zelma. We talked about White’s 40 years on Broadway, what it was like to see Tina’s hometown of Nutbush, Tennessee, and how it feels to be part of the icon’s story.
ICYMI: Last week I shared many ways to welcome 2024 with intention and align with your higher self for the year ahead. It’s not too late and you can take advantage of these tools anytime!
Be sure to click “View entire message” at the end of this email so you can read the whole post in your browser. On to the links!
My More/Less List for 2024
I’m still slowly working my way through Unravel Your Year, but I was inspired to write a more/less list for the year ahead by
’s post, so here we go!MORE 🌖
Reading
Long walks outside
Lifting
Seasonal and energetic alignment
Mindfulness around travel
Morning pages before 9am
Staying offline till 9am
Mornings on my porch
Movies in the movie theater
Small groups of friends
Deep conversations
Showing up for myself and others
Painting
Daring
Romance
Intimacy
LESS 🌘
Television
Mindless scrolling
Email addiction
My endless collection of tabs and the low hum of pressure to read a daily amount of things no human possibly could
Taking on too much and setting unrealistic expectations (for myself!)
Negative self-talk
Small talk
Buying stuff
Alcohol
Crowds
Fear
Share your more/less list in the comments!
What I’m Reading
What is a Holon? by Trace Bell
A holon is something that is simultaneously a whole in and of itself, and part of a larger whole. Everything in reality is composed of holons. You are a holon. You are a whole person and you are also part of your family, your community, your society, the biosphere etc…
What does your relationship look like with agency and harmonization? Do you find that certain seasons of life are asking more for agency while others are asking more for communion with the larger wholes you are a part of? What does this balance look like for you?
How can you be your best, whole-est holon this week?
Success got me through my mom’s long illness. That shattered when she died. By Lindsay Lee Wallace
One of the most beautiful, devastating essays I’ve read in a long time.
Cheryl Strayed on her new, sober-ish life
But drinking exists on a spectrum, and you don’t have to be on the far end of that spectrum to realize you need to make a change. You don’t have to have a drinking problem to have a problem with drinking.
Strayed on her path to drinking a lot less, a similar story to my own and many others I’ve heard recently.
The Year in Abortion: Polling and Democracy by
Americans supported abortion rights again and again in 2023, in poll after poll. In November, a poll from The Wall Street Journal found that 55% of voters want abortion legal “for any reason.” (That includes one third of Republicans—more on this in a moment.) Also this year, Pew found that 62% of Americans 30-49 years old believe abortion should be legal in all or most circumstances, and that 73% of 18-29 year olds think the same.
Using this as fuel for the 2024 election season, and to fight for abortion rights wherever I can.
This is 54: Elizabeth Gilbert in by
I’m back in Costa Rica as I’m typing this, learning Spanish and hiking in the cloud forest. It’s great. I had been taught by my family and culture that there is nothing more tragic than a single, childless, middle-aged woman. But as someone who has now been twice-divorced and once widowed, I am amazed by how great it is to be on my own, to live alone, to travel alone, to chart my own course in life without having to run it by anyone. It’s the fucking bomb. I never met any woman who was like me when I was a kid. They were all deeply responsible housewives, who took care of everyone, and had precious little time for themselves. If I had someone like me, I feel certain I never would have married at all.
Botton always asks her interviewees what age they associate themselves with, and the answers are so interesting. I’d say I’m stuck at 28.
Substack says it will remove Nazi publications from the platform by
More from The Verge: “Contacted by The Verge, Substack downplayed the situation in a statement signed by co-founders Chris, Hamish, and Jairaj, saying it would remove five publications that ‘do indeed violate our existing content guidelines, which prohibit incitements to violence based on protected classes.’”
I’ve been reading many different pieces exploring the reactions to Substack’s stance of leaving Nazi publications be and avoiding any kind of content moderation over the last month, so this is an interesting (if tiny) reversal of that stance. I’ll be keeping an eye on how this develops and whether or not continuing to publish on Substack aligns with my values.
First book of 2024, down: Good Night, Irene by Luis Alberto Urrea
My notes:
A novel about some of the forgotten American women of WWII's front lines. Ultimately a story of the power of friendship, how brave women shape the world around them, and the horrors of war and PTSD. I enjoyed reading about a part of women's history I knew nothing about, inspired by the author's mother's own story.
I’m listening to:
The second season of Anderson Cooper’s beautiful podcast about grief, All There Is. He speaks with President Biden about the deaths of his wife and children in this episode.
Actions for Palestine:
Purchase eSims so Palestinians can communicate with each other and the outside world. This is a way to directly benefit people in Gaza.
Download the 5 Calls app to easily dial your representatives and demand a permanent ceasefire in Gaza. Sixty-four members of Congress have now called for a ceasefire — these calls are working.
Use Jewish Voice for Peace’s (JVP) action items to email and call President Biden and your Congressional reps to call for a ceasefire now.
Join JVP’s daily Power Half-Hour for Gaza (2pm CT Mon-Fri) to hear updates on the movement and take action for peace in Palestine.
Questionable Self-Care Advice
Support System
Vision Board
Obsessions
🤯 The RHOSLC finale. It. Was. ART!!!
📖 American Fiction. It was incredible and my friends and I talked about it for an hour afterward. I’m a Cord Jefferson stan for life.
👖 I got obsessed with finding a comfortable, cute airport set, and I bought a fleece crewneck and joggers from Quince that I’m obsessed with. So soft. (Pants run large.)
🎨 I liked
’s post on making your own color palettes.📵 Here’s the dumbest/best productivity trick: Lock yourself in a room with no distractions so the only two choices you have are to write, or do nothing.
📚 I love following the Free Black Women’s Library on Threads, and they need funding! I donated.
📺 I loved The Gilded Age so much. Smooth brain TV in the best way.
🦑 This Squidward on stained glass is my phone background right now
🧠 The Atlantic: 81 things that blew our minds in 2023
✅ Habit tracker spreadsheet. Make a copy and add in your own!
💄 Checkfresh, a site to check the expiration date on your beauty products.
via @rohita.kadambi 
via @aclu_nationwide
Minerva moment
Mood
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Jealous of your porch Jillian! Hard relate to your more and less list 🙏🏻✨
Great list!