24 Comments
Jun 4Liked by Jillian Anthony

I appreciate you sharing your experience with us! This resonates with me. I also swapped apps for events. I did speed dating, mingling events.. Heck, I went to a singles Dodgers game! The interactions are fun. They also scratch the itch of flirting and the thrill of a chase. As a result, I feel I am happier and have grown confident in my ability to talk to people I am interested in. Like you, I work from home and have found these activities keep me socially stable and benefit me over asking a rando what their favorite color is on Hinge.

Bonus, these speed dating events are small, local businesses we get to support! Everyone wins.

Expand full comment
author

I'm so glad to hear you're trying this out and enjoying it! Dodgers single night sounds SO fun! I totally feel you about the thrill of it. We need to invite excitement into our lives regularly and give romance a chance! Love to hear you are feeling happier too <3

Expand full comment

I loved reading this!! As a single lady in her 30s, this really resonates. What a time to be alive!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you so much, Meg! May we go forth, be brave, and date IRL in these unprecedented times!

Expand full comment

Onward we go!!

Expand full comment
Jun 8Liked by Jillian Anthony

This is so lovely, Jillian! I'm consistently blown away by the variety of cool things there are to do in this city. And if you ever need a pal to check something out, my adventure bone is always tickling. Side note, the Alamo Pass is such a great deal!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Joey! Truly there is always something new and zany to discover in Austin and I’m grateful for that. And I’m a diehard Alamo Pass fan! Is there anything you’re looking forward to this summer I should have on my radar?

Expand full comment
Jun 8Liked by Jillian Anthony

Aside from the shows my band is playing (including one tonight at Independence Brewery!), I'm looking forward to drag brunch at Electric Shuffle and some time on the lake and at swimming holes. I'm also going to a beer spa in a few weeks, but that's up in Waco so I don't know if it counts as a local thing, ha. How about you?

Expand full comment
author

Drag brunch is an amazing item to add to my summer bucketlist, I've never been here! And thanks for teaching me what a beer spa is. Hope you have a great show!

I've already checked off discovering a new swim spot, Common Fords. I'd like to go to the roller derby. And definitely check out the free Legally Blonde show in Zilker!

Expand full comment
Jun 9Liked by Jillian Anthony

Thanks, Jillian! It was a grand ol' time (and I even got to eat cake, truly a win-win). Sounds like you've got a terrific summer in store. I am very intrigued by this Legally Blonde show—I need to check it out!

Expand full comment
Jun 4Liked by Jillian Anthony

Get it Jillian!!!! 👏🏻

Expand full comment
author

Thank you!!! 💁🏻‍♀️

Expand full comment
Jun 4Liked by Jillian Anthony

I love this! I went speed dating once, over a decade ago, and it was terrible. I love the idea of group convos with prompts to start things off--so much less pressure!

PS--love the curly hair. I'm also leaning into my natural waves--perfect for summer!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you so much Jill, I love my curly hair too! Especially during summer when the curls thrive.

And yeah I think the initial group component really helped! Would you try speed dating again?

Expand full comment
Jun 4Liked by Jillian Anthony

I would if I was single again! I didn't want to sound Pollyanna, but after nearly a decade of largely unfulfilling time on the apps, I actually met my partner on Hinge in almost 3 years ago. So the apps are terrible, but every once in a while...they can work!

Expand full comment
author

I LOVE to hear that and I am so happy for you!!! They do work sometimes and many couples prove it!

Expand full comment
Jun 4Liked by Jillian Anthony

Your date story had me smiling. Especially the hope-giving photo strip.

Also as a fellow freelancer, I FEEL you on the isolation that comes with WFH. It's one of the biggest reasons I miss FT!!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Tatiana!

As for the freelance isolation, I've known it would be best for me to be in an office environment ~2 days a week for a long time now. It's on my fall list of things to do to find a more permanent coworking space so I can have a consistent place to go and hopefully make more "work" friends as well.

How do you handle it?

Expand full comment
Jun 4Liked by Jillian Anthony

Co-working spaces have saved me while working abroad in other cities.

Now back on the east coast, I often go into the office of the clients/agencies I work for. So that I can build a sense of consistency/make friends with people as opposed to just seeing them on quick Zooms. And it makes suuuch a difference. To have some routine, to get out, and to also collab IRL.

If my clients didn't have offices, I would definitely join a co-working space too.

Expand full comment
author

That's an excellent idea. I do have a few clients locally I could try to cowork with, which also adds up to quality face time!

Thank you for the inspo! This is one more new way of shifting my creative life that could make a big difference.

Expand full comment
Jun 4Liked by Jillian Anthony

Love this essay! I’m moving to a new city soon and have earmarked a speed dating event. Really like reading about your experience gives me hope. And so agree about dating apps. Almost 0 ROI. IRL meetings feel so much better

Expand full comment
author

That's so exciting Heather! I moved to Austin knowing almost no one three years ago, so I've been there. I'm truly excited for you. And speed dating will be a great way to meet some dating options right away. Good luck!!!!

Expand full comment
Jun 4Liked by Jillian Anthony

I think you'd love the book I just read. It's called The Husbands by Holly Gramazio. Every time she sends a husband up to the attic a new guy comes down. It's so fun and funny (and the awful guys are a hoot), but it's also a super smart commentary on the way dating happens right now. I was like 45th in my library queue for this one, but it was so worth the wait and I can't stop thinking about it!

Expand full comment
author
Jun 4·edited Jun 4Author

Sounds like a perfect "summer of dating" read! Just added to my library list. Thank you for the rec!!

Expand full comment