Lazy long weekend links
Things to consume that don't involve clicking "buy now."
🚨 New episode alert! 🚨
I talked to the courageous Tatiana Gallardo all about the year she spent facing her own fears and documenting the process in her wonderful newsletter, Brazenface.
After a health scare at 24, Tatiana — who is a writer, photographer, and artist — decided to spend a year facing all of her fears. So she left the country, quit her job to go freelance, and chronicled her endeavors online. We talked about her experience being a “coward in recovery,” living that nomad life, going alcohol-free in her twenties, and what it means to live a truly fearless life.
My favorite quote from Tatiana in this ep (especially during November of No):
“If it scares you, that probably means you should do it. If it really feels scary, then you definitely got to do it. If it makes your heart start beating in the way that it's like, ‘Ah! I want to do it, but I can't. I shouldn't. I don't think I can.’ You probably should do it. Because you can do it.
Another piece of advice that my friend Paulina once told me is, ‘Go for what feels hot to touch. I don't know about you, but sometimes I have so many ideas that it's uncertain which one you should go for. And to me, choosing what's hot, what feels so close that it's scary to touch — that’s the one.”
And a lil’ quote from me that underlines the entire ethos of this newsletter, and how I (try to) approach creativity:
“No matter what career you choose, we all are artists, Everyone can claim that for themselves. You don't have to be good. You don't have to be published. You don't have to be in an art gallery. You don't have to show anyone. It's just all about you creating your own stuff.”
I hope you get some SAT (Sweet Alone Time) to create your stuff over the holidays! On to some long weekend links.
Holiday thoughts
I keep a Google Doc called “The Want List.” Whenever I want to buy something, I throw the link for the item there — I’ve heard this can give you the same dopamine burst as actually clicking “buy” on the product, and that if you sit on the things you covet for a few days, the urge usually goes away.
My Want List includes red-soled loafers, plaid pants, a linen duvet, a checklist notebook, rollerblades, gold mascara, eye cream, bras, a Kindle Scribe, a Nintendo Switch, this Pay My Invoice hat, and many more items that stack up, unpurchased, over months and years. They sit there because the list of things I actually need is extremely short; because I try to consume less, both for my budget and for the earth; because I try to buy secondhand or get things from Buy Nothing as often as I can.
My family decided not to exchange gifts this year, a trend I’m hearing from several others. In years past, I’ve shared a gift guide here in CSBC. I love giving gifts, and love buying special things for myself. (I also keep a Google Doc with gift ideas for loved ones.) I love pretty little things and desire a lot more of them.
But Black Friday is a farce. I’d rather keep my hard-earned money than give it to evil billionaires. I would rather have the freedom to do the things that really matter to me — travel, eat well, spend time with loved ones, go to museums, take art classes — than buy more stuff, and I’m trying to create that reality. I am working on spending my money in ways that better align with my values, and being less addicted to convenience.
With all of that in mind, combined with the fact I still have more and shop more than a large majority of the world’s population, here are some reading, listening, and watching recs for you to learn a little bit and RELAX HARD.
If creating an alternative Thanksgiving is on your mind, here are some useful reads:
You can look up the Indigenous sovereignty of the land you currently inhabit at Native-Land.ca. I live on land originally inhabited by the Jumanos tribe.
How to decolonize your Thanksgiving dinner by Javier Cabral
”Reimagining” Thanksgiving by CSBC podcast guest Nicole Cardoza
How to create a secular spiritual practice by Catherine Andrews
5 ways to make Thanksgiving matter by Emily Amick
I like the Thanksgiving Civic Gratitude worksheet she includes here to infuse more gratitude for what you already have and for what you hope to help build.
If consuming less is on your mind, read:
What happens to all the stuff we return? by David Owen
One of the most eye-opening stories I’ve read about what my own mindless consumerism actually means.
Could we rethink gift giving? by Laura Fenton
Great ideas for meaningfully shifting your family’s gifting habits.
Resist the siren call of Black Friday by Rebecca | Your House Machine
Wealth = Have/Want by Derek Sivers
Think about where you feel truly wealthy in life, and lean into that. I feel so wealthy in rich, loving, healthy, honest relationships and that brings me so much balance and peace.
Books to read
I hit my reading goal of 35 books for 2024! Thirty-one of those books were fiction, which is highly unusual for me. Here’s my top 5 books of the year so far:
The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan
Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer
The Guest by Emma Cline
All Fours by Miranda July
Comfy things to watch
All of the Lord of the Rings, extended edition films. This is exactly what I’ll be doing this weekend. It’s 11 hours of fantasy, and I need that right now. The Harry Potter films are for Christmas binging.
Alone. Nothing better than watching people try to survive in the wilderness while you’re wrapped in a blanket on the couch. May I recommend seasons 1 and 8?
Fantastic Fungi. Learn about our magical mushroom brethren while you put roots into the sofa.
What We Do in the Shadows. The final season is airing now, and I just did a wonderful rewatch of all five seasons that came before.
Tuesday. If you’re grieving right now, this Julia Louis-Dreyfus film about the angel of death that takes the form of a talking parrot could feel like a strange balm.
I’m also seeing Wicked on Thanksgiving Day, obviously.
Easy things to listen to
Some of my favorite podcasts to accompany you on long fall walks.
I adored this episode of the Blindboy Podcast, all about taking a long, mindful walk in the rain in Limerick, Ireland. It reset my nervous system and recentered my priorities.
Tooth & Claw — Perfect for an eclectic mix of family on a long car ride, this podcast is all about animal attacks and the animal science behind them. This is among the bro-iest podcasts I listen to and I adore it. My mom and I will crush five episodes at a time on road trips.
This is my favorite podcast ep of all time, that I listen to again whenever I need a pick-me-up. Celebrity Book Club makes me LOL harder than any podcast out there.
Who? Weekly’s tagline is “everything you need to know about the celebrities you don’t.” It’s hilarious and smart and mindless in the best way.
Easygoing things to do
Long walks in a beautiful place.
Board games. My mom and I are addicted to Scrabble.
Coloring/painting/crocheting while listening to your favorite album or podcast.
Reading in bed for hours.
Doing your seasonal closet flip, and bidding a grateful farewell to items you no longer want or need.
Slowly ambling through an art museum. New Yorkers: Please go see this exhibit of Met staffers’ art for me. It’s only open through Dec. 1. For more info, read Inside Job by Tim Kreider.
I took myself (all alone, gush) to see Wicked last night. It was a blast.
Listening now!!! Love brazenface and miss it!